Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
