i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My dad just said "fuck circus"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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