i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
