It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
