I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
