So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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