you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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