why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
No subtext here. People are naked.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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