i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
