I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This house was built for laser tag.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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