haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
