My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
