Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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