so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
