i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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