i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
