We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
