I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
