I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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