Will you blow on my dice?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
love makes seman taste better
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
