So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So squirting runs in the family.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
