So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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