Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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