I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
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her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
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according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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