Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
