I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
