I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
