she was so not down for the gang bang
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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