Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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