spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
