Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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