she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I understand Curling. That high.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
