you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
