Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
