Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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