I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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