I didn't shave. On purpose
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
