This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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