i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..