I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we made out on top of his cat.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect