So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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