I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
is wine microwaveable?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
