What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
