party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
