I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
