drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize