When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i will never coherently bang her
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
