Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
