i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
