Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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