Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
