Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
