I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
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Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
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Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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