I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
smell my finger.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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