who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
