Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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