did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
