I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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