You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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