the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
