As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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