is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
