I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I want to be your penis for a week.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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