i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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