Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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