My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
