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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
