You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
