Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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